Did you know that in 2016, Bass Pro Shops acquired Ka•Bala for $5,500,000,000?

Wait… I’m being told that was Cabela’s, not Ka•Bala.

Well, did you know that Madonna became involved with Ka•Bala way back in 1998?

Wait… Now I’m being told that was Kabbalah, not Ka•Bala.

Well then, what the heck is this thing!?

Oh, just some proprietary blend of tarot, spin-the-bottle, magic 8-ball and ouija board, I guess.

The ad copy:

You are under the spell of Ka•Bala

Ka•Bala the Mystic One

Sees all… Tells all the secrets of your future

You’ve turned out all the lights. In the dark of the room an eerie green glow. It’s Ka•Bala!

The moment is tense, but undaunted, you place your hands on the mysterious keyboard.

A deep breath, and you’re ready with your first question… “Wi… Will I ever pitch in a winning game?”

You watch the ever-searching eye of Zohar. Round and round the crystal marble goes. Where will it stop? Only Ka•Bala knows. Will it spell “Yes”? Will it spell “No”? Anxiously you wait as the future unfolds.

Yes!

See Ka•Bala cast its spell on TV

Minutes later…
Not it’s your partner’s turn. “The taro card’s for me!”, says she. “What will my future be?”

Slowly she reaches for a card, then swiftly turns it up. “See!” A happy marriage with children-material wealth “Whee!”

Learn the deep secrets of your future. Get Ka•Bala to tell you all. It’s an exciting game for everyone. Comes complete with luminous board, the eye of Zohar and crystal marble which spells out answers. Plus 22 future-telling taro cards and instructions.

Ka•Bala

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