MILLER LITE

DIGI-MAN: “If it was up to me, brewers wouldn’t even dream of making a less-filling beer unless it tastes great.”

[ON SCREEN: Tastes great, less filling. Or at least we used to be.]

DIGI-MAN: “In fact, they’d spend all their time dreaming up ways to give us more hops for our money.”

[ON SCREEN: Triple hops brewed, whatever that means.]

DIGI-MAN: “I guess… I’d just like to see a little more beer and a little less calories, you know?”

[ON SCREEN: Available in watered-down 40s.]

DIGI-MAN: “If it was up to me, they’d spend a lot more time worrying about me getting my buzz on and my expanding waistline.”

[ON SCREEN: Please drink in moderation. Not really.]

VOICEOVER: Beer rules. At Miller Lite, beer rules. Are you ready to drink?

[LOGO / URL]

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MCDONALD’S

DIGI-WOMAN: “I thought fast food restaurants were there to help me with my healthy diet decisions. So where’s that help when I need it?”

[ON SCREEN: You can choose between fried and deep-fried!]

DIGI-WOMAN: “If I could change one thing, we’d all get a ton of reconstituted onions just for ordering a sandwich.”

[ON SCREEN: Our Big Mac has some, and a lot of other stuff too. You know the song.]

DIGI-WOMAN: “Shouldn’t I be able to talk about increasing my cholesterol levels without it costing a fortune?”

[ON SCREEN: It’s not polite to talk with your mouth full.]

DIGI-WOMAN: “If I had it my way, fast food restaurants would be falling all over themselves to help me with my fast food choices.”

[ON SCREEN: “Have it your way” is Burger King, bitch.]

VOICEOVER: Fast food rules. At McDonald’s, fast food rules. Are you ready to eat fast food?

[LOGO / URL]