Tag Archives: vintage ads

“It’s like trying to swallow a mouthful of thumbtacks.”*

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Black Velvet Blended Canadian Whisky ad from a 1974 magazine.

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Is this where the phrase “shit the bed” comes from?

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She seems nice.

Another fine gem of a scam from an old romance comic book.

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Thanks to an all-too-familiar sensation, Hank realized he sat in fresh cow flop.

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1974 Marlboro Magazine Ad

You’d think the smell would’ve given it away, but he’s a smoker so, well, you know.

Polite or Desperate?

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Carlton cigarettes magazine ad from 1984

Or rather, polite desperation or desperate politeness?

Blowing Smoke

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For those of you who still believe that corporations always have the best interests of Americans in mind, here’s a nice little something from 1984.

(cough) (cough) Bullshit! (cough) (cough)

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It’s not just a job, it’s an (cough cough) adventure.

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1943 magazine ad for Chesterfield cigarettes

What’s going on here with the Commodore lurking behind the Lieutenant? Is he her friend? Her mentor? her dad? Her lover? Her fashion consultant? A creep? A ghost? A German spy? CURIOUS MINDS WANT TO KNOW! Continue reading →

“I’m a maverick?” — John McCain

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1974 magazine ad for Maverick Jeans & Sportswear

I have many questions about these three, but I’d rather not get them answered. Continue reading →

The Meat For Every Occasion… except for perhaps Bar Mitzvahs.

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Uncle George likes his meat solid.

Hormel’s SPAM is infamously “spiced ham”.
Armour’s Treet is a “spiced luncheon loaf”.
Wilson & Co.’s MOR was described as “no bone”, “no gristle” and “solid”. Can’t imagine why they’re not still around. Continue reading →

Behold, the Big O!

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1943 magazine ad for General Mills Cheerioats (later Cheerios)

General Mills’ Cheerioats was invented in 1941. It didn’t long for Quaker Oats to gripe about the name and threaten legal action, so Cheerioats became Cheerios in 1945. Good thing, because autocorrect hates hates hates “Cheerioats”. Continue reading →

You’ve got style! You’ve got flair! Something phallic for your hair!

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1974 magazine ad for Vitalis Dry 3

Vitalis Dry 3 is sold in a can that looks like a robot’s penis, but leaves you softer and not as stiff. I’m getting mixed messages here. Continue reading →