Bone shards:
Working with flour can be explosive.
“I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.”
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Tag Archives: marketing
“Until you push the magic button.”
Let’s get this out of the way right away — “Just slightly ahead of our time.” was a fabulous tagline and they’ve never surpassed it. Not even close.
Bone shards:
Did you know you used to be able to get record players installed in your car?
Have you met The Electric Prunes mentioned in the body copy?
Six Panasonic D batteries will set you back around $15 these days. Last time I checked, at least.
Panasonic made the first bread machine. Who knew!? Well, probably Panasonic.
Continue readingPotato Slogans
Eat more potatoes.
You have toes, so eat potatoes.
Dig those potatoes, man.
Tonight, we’re having potatoes!
Potato — the egg of the underworld.
There’s nothing hotter than a potato.
“No matter how you spell it, it’s still potatos.”— Dan Quayle
Eat yer taters.
Potatoes — The rocks you can eat.
Starch something.
Your bud, the spud.
Mash things up.
The potato — North America’s banana.
Potatoes — America’s favorite lumpy nutrition.
Tater up!
Are potatoes ok?
Where fries come from.
Hey! It’s a potato!
The Safest Explosive
Farmer go boom.
Bone Shards:
The once-free book will now set you back $50 at Abe Books.
If it’s so safe, why did it say “Dangerous” on the crate?
Did you know that the Nobel prizes were pretty much made possible by dynamite?
Continue readingBehind them, the iceberg emerged from the mysterious cloud.
Bone shards:
Titanic trivia? Sure!
Icebergs too? As you wish.
What does he or she mean about “that way”? I’m not sure, but it probably involves a riding crop and lots of Vaseline.
Continue reading“Brown shoes don’t make it.” — Frank Zappa
I’m sorry, but Lady Nettleton can’t come to the phone right now. She’s having tea with Mrs. Nesbit.
I’ve heard of gila monsters, and Gilly, and ghillie suits, but I never knew that a ghillie was also a type of shoe. Who knew!?
Continue reading…prevents CHOLERA and all manner of Epidemic Diseases…
Did you know the original snake oil was actually good for something?
“Colorful names and even more colorful claims.”
Learn some signs of medical quackery.
Continue readingDon’t forget the ripcord!
Bone Shards:
Looks like Marie McMillin was a real person and so is the story. (The actual dialogue might’ve been altered somewhat for marketing purposes.)
And the Internet being the Internet, somebody asked if it’s possible to smoke a cigarette while skydiving.
Continue readingWhen her pants are white, she’s in a plight.
[Pursesnatcher going through stolen bag…] “Hey! Cigars!”
It looks like the uncredited artist was Mort Drucker of MAD Magazine fame. Rest in peace, Mort. Also, rest in peace, MAD Magazine.
Pursette’s company, Campana, had one heck of a factory building in Batavia.
“How do you sell what you can’t talk about?”
Continue readingStiff Competition
What a lovely and fashionable girl.
What do you suppose the 1913 ad she was featured in was selling?
Go ahead, take a guess.
An upscale department store?
No.
The season’s latest fur styles?
No.
A vacation to exotic Canada?
No.
Embalming fluid?
What are you, some kind of wise guy!?
Oh, wait…
You’re right!
It’s an ad for embalming fluid.
D-uh. It’s so obvious now!
Bone Shards:
Ripley’s has a lovely handful of weird embalming stories just waiting for you.
The next time you’re in Houston, don’t forget to stop at the National Museum of Funeral History. Slogan: “Any day above ground is a good one.”
I know! I’m sad I missed out on this auction too.
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