Category Archives: product!

Unboxed and Taste Tested: Cricket, Vixen and I review Merrick Purrfect Bistro

The friendly neighborhood UPS guy dropped off a perk from Klout this last Friday — a sample box from Merrick Purrfect Bistro. Let’s see what’s inside!

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“Reports of my erectile dysfunction have been greatly exaggerated.” — Sir James Dyson

If it rhymes with clitoris, it has to be good.™

Those cunning linguists.

Sammich or Marital Aid?

Ladies.

Golden Monopoly tokens, old and new, including the iron’s last hurrah.

Monopoly token preference, a close cousin of brand loyalty, is a strong force with most players of the game. Some won’t even play unless they get to play their favorite token, but that’s lucky for the rest of us because these people are usually miserable to play with anyway. But now, if you were an iron, you’re screwed if you play any of the games made from this point on. This Monopoly version with golden tokens, supposedly only available at Target stores while supplies last, is your last chance to be wrinkle free. It also includes the losing tokens in the Hasbro pick-the-new-token contest as well as the winner and iron replacement, the kitty cat.

Token killed: Iron.

Replaced by: Kitty cat.

New tokens that didn’t survive the new token contest to become new tokens: Guitar, robot, diamond ring and helicopter.

Token survivors of old: Scottie dog (now probably barking considerably more), battleship, race car, wheelbarrow, shoe, top hat and thimble.

Lastly, since social media gurus (ninjas, samurais, experts, eggplants, etc.) insist that you’re always supposed to ask a stupid question to trigger engagement…

Which token do you play and why?

The SMEAT smell of success.

The holy grail of fictitious Hollywood food products is now in my possession.

SMEAT!

Life is good. And rather high in sodium.
____________________

SMEAT still needs a good tagline, though. One that can crush “Break The Monotony” for Hormel’s SPAM.

Have a SMEAT.

Tastes like feet. SMEAT.

You can’t beat the SMEAT!

It’s so SMEATy!

Just SMEAT it.

SMEAT yourself right.

It’s not meat; it’s SMEAT!

Enjoy the SMEAT life.

Heat. Eat. SMEAT.

SMEAT me!

Got a better one? Send it in a comment below.

Never Forget

11/16/12

This water tastes awful!

Up next, the Dasani douche.

Today in unexpected trademarks.

Hostess Brands, “one of the largest wholesale bakers and distributors of fresh delivered bread and snack cakes in the United States”, might currently be going through another round of bankruptcy, but you just gotta admire a company that takes the time, money and effort to trademark the phrase “The Original Squiggle” for its Hostess Cupcakes brand.

Dress your whisky well.

Of all the Christmas promos and gimmicks we were deluged with this holiday season, my favorite came to me in the mail.

Behold, the Maker’s Mark whisky bottle Christmas sweater!

Although it doesn’t quite jive with the Maker’s Mark TV campaign, I’m more than willing to overlook that little fact because it’s so damned spiffy.

Adtothebone.com approves! Now for next time, make sure some of your fine whisky comes with it too, ‘k?