Thanks to the unwavering efforts of the American Androgenic Research Council, most teenagers now know that if their pubic hair ever develops into something like this, that they should seek medical assistance immediately.
Five years hence, Stephanie would be forced to pawn off her beloved guitar – her last vestige of hope and promise as well as her last possession of any value – for enough cash to buy one last week’s worth of Fancy Feast Marinated Morsels for her forty-seven half-feral house cats. It does not end well.
Even after reaching album sales in excess of 37 million and completing two record-shattering world tours, Flouncé and Aya-Kiki decided that the white chick had to go.
According to Reverend Thaddeus Bukelavic’s “Dream Interpretations and Diabolical Undercurrents of Seemingly Innocuous Objects” (©1884, Prairie Pulpit Press), if you dream of encountering a glass of clear liquid on the floor of a white room and you’re not wearing any shoes, then you are a foul and wretched evil-stenched sinner who will most assuredly burn in Hell for all eternity.
His Wikipedia entry notes that he wasn’t invited to many social gatherings.
Giving birth to the spawn of Satan was all well and good, but Rosemary was damned if she was going to allow it to go poopsies on her new white carpet.
Rendered docile by Standard Flying Waffles Hypno-Holograph #9.b, little Roy Jerkins was soon beamed aboard the Krytoricon research vessel and subjected to mating experiments with a pecan-coloured La-Z-Boy recliner.
Young Troy was feeling mighty powerful until his teacher, out of concern, kindly explained the difference between telekinesis and gravity.
Albeit avid and skilled golfers, Thad and Mitsy’s shared penchant for spontaneous interpretive dance always made for an awkward foursome.
As any modern, learned parent knows, it’s always best to have a practice session before heading to the wildlife park and dangling your child over the alligator pit.
On Thursday, October 11, 2007 at 2:14pm PDT, after twelve and a half years of dull and uneventful marriage, John and Michelle Trilby simultaneously realized that they had very slowly turned each other gay.